Introduction: A New Beginning in 2012
In 2012, life threw me a curveball that changed everything. I started a new job in tech and, in the same month, became a single mom. With two kids under 2 years old, it felt like my life was falling apart. The pressure was overwhelming. I juggled my career with the constant demands of motherhood, but in the midst of it all, I realized that I wasn’t taking time off for myself. I was taking time off for doctor’s appointments, court appointments, and every other responsibility that came with raising two young children as a single mom.
Thankfully, my family was my rock. My parents stepped in and held down the fort with my kids, and when they couldn’t, my sisters were right there to help. They supported me through the toughest days, and I am eternally grateful to them for their unwavering help. Their love and support made it possible for me to keep going, and it’s because of them that I found the strength to push through.
The Importance of Balancing Career and Motherhood
For me, balancing my career and motherhood has always been crucial. My career is not just a job; it’s a source of joy and fulfillment. If I hadn’t pursued my dreams and worked towards building a career, I would have felt incomplete. And as much as I wanted to give my kids everything, I knew that a mother who wasn’t passionate about her work or her growth wouldn’t be the best version of herself.
I realized that my happiness mattered—not just for me, but for my girls too. If I wasn’t happy, I couldn’t give them the love and energy they deserved. A happy, fulfilled mom is the best gift I can give them, and that meant carving out time for my career, even when it felt impossible. Pursuing my dreams wasn’t just about my success—it was about setting an example for them, showing them that they could chase their dreams one day too.
My Daily Routine
I keep my daily routine simple, as I’m neither an early riser nor a morning person. Waking up early has always been a challenge for me. However, this year I decided to embrace structure and discipline in my life. Having a routine brings a sense of fulfillment to every part of my day.
I wake up between 4:30 am and 5 am, start with the Tahajjud prayer, and then take a moment to sip water while writing in my 5-minute gratitude journal. I read 10 pages of a book before preparing for the Fajr prayer, followed by reading the Quran. I wake up the kids for Fajr and then they get ready on their own. Both of my daughters take the school bus to school. After Fajr, I work out, shower, make my coffee, and get ready for work, which begins at 8 am. I am grateful I get to work from home.
I focus on work until noon, then take a break for the Dhuhr prayer and a walk outside to refresh myself. After returning from lunch, I dive back into focused work until 5 pm, followed by the Asr prayer. I prepare dinner for my kids and pack it in Tupperware so they can eat while we head to their Maktab, which runs from 6 pm to 8 pm. I usually pray Maghrib in the car during this time.
Once we’re home, it’s time for the kids’ homework, cleaning, and tidying up, followed by Isha prayer. After the kids are asleep, I dedicate an hour or two to my own learning and advancement before heading to bed.
Weekend Routine
On Thursdays, I handle the Costco shopping and begin cleaning the rooms on the first floor. Fridays are dedicated to attending the family halaqa at our masjid. Saturdays are my meal prep days, where I cook simple sides and meals that will last us throughout the week. On weekdays, I rely on the rice cooker to make rice, and we also focus on cleaning the rest of the house over the weekends. This routine has been a huge time-saver and helps reduce my stress throughout the week.
I make sure not to be too rigid with my schedule, though, because I’ve learned that if it becomes too strict, it starts to feel like a chore I don’t enjoy. Sundays are usually reserved for editing videos for my YouTube channel and scheduling them for automatic publication throughout the upcoming week.
Some of my time-saving hacks as a single mom are below:
1. Plan Your Meals in Advance
- Weekly Meal Prep: Set aside time on the weekends (maybe Saturday) to cook and prepare meals for the upcoming week. This ensures that you’re not scrambling to figure out dinner after a long day at work. Ex: Khuchuri, Sauteed vegetables, Daal
- Use an Instant Pot: Kitchen gadgets such as Instant Pot, save time by cooking meals quickly with minimal supervision. You can throw in ingredients in the morning and have dinner ready by the time you get home. Instapot changed my life!
- Cook Rice in a rice cooker: Cooking rice in a rice cooker in bulk makes it easy to use throughout the week. You can also prepare other grains like quinoa, bulgur, or couscous at the same time for variety.
2. Automate & Delegate Tasks
- Use Tech to Automate: Tools like grocery delivery services (Instacart, Walmart Pickup), meal planning apps, and automated bill payments free up time by cutting down on repetitive errands and appointments.
- Delegate Tasks: When possible, involve your kids in household chores, even if it’s just simple tasks like folding laundry, cleaning their bathrooms, and clearing the table. You can also delegate tasks to family members (if available) to lessen your load.
3. Simplify Your Morning Routine
- Night Before Prep: Get as much ready the night before as possible—set out clothes for you and your kids, pack lunches, organize work bags, and prepare breakfast items. This reduces the stress of rushing in the morning.
- Streamline Self-Care: Try quick self-care routines like a 5-minute gratitude journal or stretching exercises to wake up without feeling overwhelmed.
4. Use a Shared Calendar
- Centralized Family Calendar: A shared digital calendar (like Google Calendar) for you and your family members helps track appointments, kids’ activities, and your work schedule. It reduces confusion and makes sure everyone is on the same page. I don’t utilize this great feature.
5. Outsource When Possible
- Hire Help for Deep Cleaning: If cleaning feels like a never-ending task, consider hiring a cleaning service for deep cleaning once a month or even every two weeks. It’s a good investment to save time.
6. Work Smarter, Not Harder
- Focus Blocks of Time: During your workday, use focused blocks of time where you limit distractions (emails, phone) to maximize productivity. Tools like Pomodoro timers can help structure these focused work sessions.
- Prioritize Tasks: Use a daily or weekly to-do list, and focus on the most important tasks first, making sure you’re tackling high-priority tasks during your most productive times of the day.
7. Limit Social Media and Screen Time
- Set Boundaries for Screen Time: Set limits on your personal screen time, so you can focus on more important activities. Schedule times to check social media instead of being on it throughout the day.
8. Keep the Routine Flexible
- Stay Flexible: Being too rigid with your schedule can cause stress and burnout. Leave room for unexpected events and adjust as needed, so it doesn’t feel like a chore. The goal is balance, not perfection.
Conclusion
Reflecting on the Journey
Being a single mom in tech has been a rewarding yet challenging journey. The road hasn’t always been easy—balancing late-night work, parenting, and personal time is no small feat. But I’ve learned that with the right routines, a support system, and the willingness to prioritize both my career and my kids, I’ve been able to navigate the chaos and find fulfillment in both aspects of my life. The rewards of seeing my kids grow and thrive while achieving my professional goals have made it all worth it.
Encouragement for Others
To all the single moms in tech, know that you’re not alone. The path might feel overwhelming at times, but remember that your dreams are worth pursuing. Finding your balance is key, and it’s okay to take things one day at a time. Keep pushing forward, and never underestimate the power of your resilience. You are doing something amazing by showing your kids what it means to chase your passions while being present in their lives.
Call to Action
I’d love to hear from other single moms in tech! What are your routines and tips for thriving while balancing your career and motherhood? Share your stories, advice, and hacks in the comments below, and let’s inspire each other to continue breaking barriers and achieving our dreams.
